1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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