Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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