apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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