Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
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