You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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