I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize