i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Randomize
