You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
