so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
