Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
