Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Randomize
