why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
