I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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