Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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