She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
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