I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
