There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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