Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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