I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
The air was thick with penises
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
