Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
