She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
