bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
