I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
