i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
