More tranny stories later!
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
