There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
