Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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