He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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