I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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