forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
