I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize