she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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