she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Ladies don't puke and tell
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Randomize