I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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