It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I would fuck him just for his dog
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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