I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
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