I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Randomize
