Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
