at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
