Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
