Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
