my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
