I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
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