Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
