This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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