I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
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