One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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