So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
