considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Randomize
