hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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