weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Randomize
