My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize