I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
