i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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