Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
