shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
