even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
