You can't motorboat a personality
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I licked your asshole in confidence.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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