Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
