apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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